“2007 is the year of balance” one of my clients confidently shared with me a few weeks ago. When I asked them what this meant to them, they explained that it was time to get some balance back, to feel more in control and more relaxed. It was time to become the driver rather than the passenger on the train… I had to smile because I could relate to this in so many ways!

It’s easy to feel a little out of balance sometimes, but the good news is, with some honesty, focus and a good dose of acknowledgement, getting your balance back when you notice the scales are tipped is easier than you think.

There is no secret recipe! Balance is something that means different things to different people. The important thing is knowing what a life in balance looks like for you.

This month’s e-zine features some tips I hope you can use when you feel it’s time to lighten the load. Carole’s article highlights the powerful benefits of acknowledgement and suggests some simple ways to integrate this simple but powerful technique at work and at play.

If you have ever dreamed of starting your own magazine (or any business for that matter!), read about this month’s brave bod, David Nixon.

…and because it’s February and cupid is nigh, why not tell someone you love them this month?

Best of life,

 

 

Feel like you’re too busy mopping up the floor to stop and turn off the tap at the moment? Consider some of the ideas below.

1. Balance - In your own words

   Balance means different things to different people. So it’s important to know what it means to you – not others. What does a balanced life mean to you? Jot down what a typical week in your life would look like if were perfectly balanced. How would you be spending your time? What would you be doing differently?

2. Know your values.

   Values are your moral compass. If you know what’s most important to you – decision making becomes easier. Think about what is really important to you and consider how much of your energy is being spent on these things. A life that feels out of balance is usually a signal that you’re life is misaligned vs. your values.

3. Get real about now.

   Getting real on how you are currently spending your time can be a very useful wake-up call! Print out or photocopy your diary for the last 2 weeks and highlight how you have spent your time. Use different colours for the different components of your life. Take a real honest look. What percentage of your week have you spent on each of the areas that make up your life?

4. Be responsible for your time.

   You and only you are responsible for signing off on how you spend your time. You are in control of the balance or the imbalance. Make a decision to focus on creating balance by making choices that support a balanced life. Learn to be exquisite at mastering your time. You have the same 1,440 minutes available each day as everyone else!

5. Leave work on time.

   I’m yet to see the grave stone that reads “Billy Brown was a great employee who stayed late every day”. If you absolutely had to leave work by 5/5:30 everyday, what would you do differently throughout the day? What could you tackle more efficiently? What would you stop doing altogether? Imagine having an extra hour every night to do something you really loved – what would you do? Consider how you could make that happen without compromising the value you bring to your work.

6. Exercise your mind.

   The health benefits of exercise are well known but when was the last time that you gave your mind a good stretch? What was the name of the last great book you read? Inspirational course or seminar you attended? Foreign film or documentary you watched? How did it change your perspective on the world? A little time spent each week on stretching your mental boundaries will be well worth it!

7. Know the difference between important and urgent.

   All too often our day is filled with ‘urgent’ tasks and projects. There is a big difference between urgent and important. Spending five minutes at the start or the end of the day capturing the big ticket items that will drive your business and life forward will help you focus. Say no respectfully to requests that are urgent but not important.

8. Invest your time.

   Your time is one of, if not the most precious, limited resource you have. Consider treating your time like you do your money. Invest it wisely. Don’t spend it frivolously or waste it. If you don’t respect your time it will be hard for others to do so.

9. Practice ‘Me time’.

   Time to rest, to laugh, to learn, to breathe. What’s your favourite way to spend an hour with the person who knows you best – you? Devote just 1 hour each week to touch base with yourself. If 1 hour seems like a lot, then break it into smaller timeslots throughout the week. Do something rewarding and something that makes you feel good.

10. Say thank you.

    Acknowledgement is a wonderful but highly under utilised thing. Read Carole’s article and go and say thank you to someone who deserves it (that person might even be yourself).

“It is a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.”
- W. Somerset Maugham

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Homestyle’s first issue went to print in July 2004. The magazine continues to grow and is driven by a talented team, headed up by David in Christchurch. Read more about this month’s brave bod…

1. What inspired you to start up homestyle magazine?

   There were several drivers that lead to me starting homestyle. Primarily it was the combination of seeing a niche opportunity in the market, and wanting to prove that it could be done from scratch with no experience. It was my first year out of university and as a result of my naivety and enthusiasm I wound up working for six months without being paid.

2. What were the critical steps in turning your idea into something real?

   As is the case with any start up business it was vital to have complete clarity in terms of what we were trying to achieve. If the product or service is well defined and well anchored within the market, then it is far easier to make decisions based on this. Writing a mantra or mission statement early on helps others to see your vision and buy into whatever it is you are trying to do.

3. What have you found the toughest so far?

   The most difficult thing has been the realisation that you and only you are the last line of defense. When you run your own business there is no ‘safe zone’ to hide in as can be the case when working for large companies. If something is not going right, no matter where in the business, you have to turn around and fix it.

4. What are you most proud of?

   My team. When you start a business you have to place a lot of faith in others also. I have a young staff of a dozen or so employees all of whom regularly go above and beyond the call of duty because they are passionate about their work and they thrive of each other’s desire to achieve.

5. What’s been your biggest learning?

   That the effects of what you do today whether good or bad will culminate in three months time. In other words, if things are going well it is important not to relax, because if you do you will find yourself in difficulty three months down the track.

6. How important has leadership been to getting the magazine to where it is?

   When I started homestyle, leadership meant having at your immediate disposal solutions to any problem that arose to ensure that employees remained confident in both my ability to lead, and more importantly the feasibility of the concept of homestyle and the likelihood that it would be successful.

7. What role does goal setting and planning play in the business?

   Failing to plan is planning to fail. Planning is not my strong point, so I have employed key people at homestyle to plan for different parts of the business and then report directly to me.

8. What does the future hold for homestyle?

   Homestyle’s readership is growing steadily, and with each issue we reach more people who had previously not heard of us. As a result of homestyle’s success the publishing company that owns homestyle, The Pluto Group has been approached to publish a couple of other titles.

9. What would be five gems of advice you would give to someone who dreams of starting up a magazine?
   1. Nothing is ever gained by winning an argument and losing a customer.
   2. Perception is reality. It doesn’t matter how chaotic your operation is behind closed doors, if you publish a magazine with strong editorial and good content, with a nice layout, and it’s easy to read – then in spite of what you might think, you are professional.
   3. If someone tells you that you can’t do something it is usually because they don’t think that they are capable of doing it themselves.
   4. You can’t keep doing things the way they have been done in the past and expect to get different results.
   5. It’s more important to be a good man than a good manager.

10. What’s your definition of bravery?

    Not knowing how to do something but backing your ability to do it.

Check out Homestyle Magazine online at: http://www.homestylemagazine.co.nz

By Carole Sandberg P.C.C.

It is amazing how many people rarely, if ever, acknowledge themselves or others. Recently, taking some quiet time for reflection, I thought about this and the results that clients have had from using what I call "The Acknowledgement Process."

To quote a client - "This acknowledgement process has been one of the most powerful tools in marriage communication that I have ever come across. It has made an extraordinary difference in our relationship with each other and the insights we've both gained have been priceless."

Another of my clients shared the tremendous differences this process has made in her personal and working relationships. She said it has enabled her to see and build on her own strengths. It has helped her to see the strengths in others and has made her more consciously perceptive of others, seeing things in them she hadn't recognised before, or taken the time to see. She feels she has become a more generous person. Acknowledging her people at work has created huge shifts in staff dynamics and with her sales team.

It has resulted in immediate improved performances across the board. She feels she has raised the bar on who she is as an executive and who she can become within her personal relationships. It has shifted her from no longer being concerned about what she cannot do, to seeing what she and others can do - it has raised her personal bar to new levels in perception, confidence and emotional intelligence.

Generally speaking, we are our own harshest critics. We have regular conversations with ourselves about what we should (or should not) have done - the "shoulds", are endless. How often do you castigate yourself for not having done everything on the "to do" list at the end of the day or the weekend? What kind of quantum shift might be possible if you just simply acknowledged yourself for what you did complete?

Now, consider the difference in behavioural reaction if, when someone does something you've asked them to do, you congratulated them for simply having done it - regardless of whether it could have been done better or sooner. Imagine the kind of shifts that might be possible if we acknowledge our family and friends for their helpfulness, support, honesty, friendship, for doing the shopping, tidying up, phoning to say hello, taking out the garbage or helping prepare a meal.

I believe we all take so much for granted. We take our relationships and ourselves for granted. Life is filled with opportunities for acknowledgment. We can acknowledge ourselves for getting out of bed on time; for finishing four of the ten things we have scheduled for the day; for taking the time to eat a healthy lunch or handling that difficult client; for being positive or creative, patient or kind or perhaps even brave.

It is important to understand this process isn't only related to actions. It's also about being who we are, our traits and qualities. Loyal, compassionate, thoughtful, tenacious, a hard worker, friendly, creative, supportive, responsible, empathetic, loving, gutsy - the list is endless.

Personally, I really appreciate being acknowledged regularly. It's nice to know I am valued and recognised for who I am and what I achieve. I am delighted when my husband acknowledges me for something I didn't think he'd even noticed. It is great hearing regularly that you are appreciated- not taken for granted. We all need this. Being acknowledged makes you feel good!

So let's all acknowledge ourselves and each other, every single day, remembering to communicate both the action and the human quality displayed. One way to deepen the experience is to keep a notebook and jot down ten things you acknowledge yourself for each day. You could take this one step further and record the shifts that occur in your relationships and your perception of the changes in others as a result of being acknowledged.

It's a simple process that gives each of us the power to make a positive contribution both to ourselves and to those around us.

Here is another way to use the acknowledgment process.

Create a 15 minute uninterruptible timeframe with your partner. If you wish to do this with your children as a family unit, then more time will be needed and it is important you all sit together and face each other.

Explain that each person is going to acknowledge the other for things they have done, including the quality involved. At the end of the acknowledgement the person talking will then ask "Is there anything else you would like to be acknowledged for?" If there is, for example, let's say the other person says, "Yes, I would like to be acknowledged for doing the shopping when I was tired today." then without going into any other form of conversation, the first person would say, "I acknowledge you for being so supportive and caring (or whatever quality is relevant) and for doing the shopping today when you were tired." Is there anything else you would like to be acknowledged for, the first person would then ask… and continue on until everyone has been acknowledged. Then if there are only the two of you the other person does the acknowledging. If you are doing this as a family unit, the first person should go around the group, completing all the acknowledgments with one person before moving to the next. Then the second person acknowledges the first and then the others, etc.

I have coached a parent who has done this with their family and it has created some fantastic positive outcomes - especially when teenage children are involved. As parents we can often take our children for granted and them us so amazing things can come from this process. One great reaction was a parent acknowledging their teenage son for doing his school homework each day!

Good luck and enjoy.

Carole Sandberg is a Senior Brave Coach. Find out more about Carole.

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